On 1st November I'm usually filled with ambivalent feelings. It is really nice to dedicate one day in a year to the dead. This time people aim at the cemeteries with huge bunches of flowers and wreaths. They light candles and commemorate their dead relatives and friends. This holiday has a peculiar unworldly atmosphere. To be honest I don't really like all these shallow things. In the last few years All Saints' Day has been commercialized. It is not about the dead any more. Sadly this is more about money. Traders sell their products at extremely high prices but consumers still buy flowers because it is a tradition. Some even compete whose wreath is bigger or more expensive. Others stand in front of the graves and indulge in self-pity: "why did you leave me alone?", asking the dead.
My dead relatives are not in the cemetery; they are always with me in my heart and memories. I don't need to go out to the cemetery to remember them. I don't need a special day to recall their faces and smiles. I really miss the shared moments, their advices and stories about the past. At the same time, I'm grateful that I knew them and they were parts of my life. For instance I was only three years old when my great-grandfather died but I didn't forget when he sang the song starting with "Kecskebéka felmászott a fűzfára". I still remember the taste of the poppy-seed strudel made by my great-grandmother. I have to laugh when I recall one of my grandfathers swearing heartily and the other telling stories about his juvenile pranks and seductions.
You're right Réka- you don't have to go to the cemetery and remember your loving ones. Cemeteries have great histories and represent culture of people; different material for headstones have been used over the years,for engravings, symbols and epitaphs.I lived in various places and cemeteries were close to my place of living. I was able to see them in completely different way than today. But after my parents' death I cannot go to the cemetery. Some saying claims that if we don't remember people we lost then they are dead for everybody, but if we do remember them then they live in our hearts.
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